Since I have the pdf open, here's his letter to his late Mum published at the end of his book. When viewed in parallel with what he really was and is, I can't help but feel pity upon everybody who loves or had loved this man, especially when he speaks of bullying, hypocrisy and his love for his family.
Dear Mum
It’s 2016, and I’m alive and happy.
I am married to a beautiful, intelligent Croatian woman, Dijana, who two years ago gave birth to your granddaughter, Jessica Liberty. Jessica is a gorgeous, happy, talkative little person with the same curly brown hair as you and I.
It’s sad that you can’t hold her and play with her, but we are determined that she will grow up knowing who her grandmother is and learning from your incredible kindness and strength.
At my baptism, you gave me a Bible in which you wrote that I should “stay awake, stand firm, grow mighty.” Mum, I have done all those things. Especially have I stood firm against a harmful cult that is tearing our family apart, torturing Dad and Hannah with false hopes of seeing you again, and threatening future generations.
I know when you left us you believed strongly that Jehovah’s Witnesses are God’s one true organization on earth. I don’t blame you for reaching that conclusion—especially after what you told me about the difficult years before you met Dad. But the organization you joined has proved itself over many decades to be nothing more than a self-perpetuating system of deceit and hypocrisy. And you once told me that if there was one thing you hated more than anything else, it was hypocrisy. I know that, given some more time together, you would have at least given me chance to explain myself if I had tried showing you that, in fact, we were being lied to all along. And I still smile when I think of the time you questioned Dad, without any hesitation, over those crazy paragraphs I showed you in the “Daniel” book. You were braver than I was back then.
Just before you died, I wrote you a letter telling you of my fond memories from our walk in the Lake District when we passed by Loughrigg Tarn. You never managed to read the letter because your mind faded too quickly, but I wrote of how that magical day, when we strolled through the meadows in the splendor of the English countryside, was the closest to paradise I have ever been.
But the magic had nothing to do with any outbreak of Armageddon, real or fabricated. It didn’t come as the result of billions of people being obliterated in a mass slaughter for the “crime” of not recognizing the authority of a group of men in New York. That wouldn’t be any kind of “magic” worth remembering. The magic was a mother and her son taking a walk in beautiful surroundings—a place that you, me, Dijana and Jessica could still enjoy today if you were here with us. The magic was real. It was a memory we made together—and it was a memory I will always cherish.
If there is one thing I’ve learned from my efforts to “grow mighty,” it is that reality itself is beautiful and diminishes in value only when diluted by false claims, failed expectations and unproven dogma. Rather than sink into a state of guilt and self-pity after leaving what we assumed was the “Truth,” I feel I have grown as a human being and embraced reality. I have learned to accept my place in the cosmos and contribute in whatever infinitesimal way I can to the ongoing struggles of humanity. And it is your legacy of courage, kindness and honesty that I can credit for growing in that way.
Sometimes I find myself pondering the question: “If Mum could see me now, would she be proud?” I’ve come to realize that this question has two answers. Of course, if your mind belonged to Watchtower and you didn’t know the real truth, you would be deeply ashamed of me and would join Dad in shunning me and Dijana—even if it meant never seeing your granddaughter. But the authentic, strong-minded, kind, loving, empathetic, free-spirited Lesley you always were would be proud of me—and would be by my side cheering me on in battling a monstrous bully.
Even if I know and accept that I can never see you again, in my mind and heart that’s exactly who you are and what you are doing.
With all my love and fondest memories, always,
Your son,
Lloyd
